Body giving warning sign

Weight reduce rapidly in 3 week...
Alopecia...
Pale face...
Hormone imbalance...
Have dizziness and blackout sometimes...
MC late terrible last month, Early terrible this month. =.=
Cough like a TB patient now...
What next?

Thank to someone,

bring me out when I'm sad ,

bring me for dinner when i have no appetite ,

cheer me up with message in the middle of the night .

Thanks,I really do appreciate you a lot a lot. =)

Need more time.

There is too much too much impact,that i couldn't even recall it.

and I don't want to recall.

The pain still there,I'm waiting for the pain to fade.

One day,The day will come.

I just need more time.

Thanks to my good friend,who always be there for me.

Love you guys.I really mean it. *shy

Recover Soon ,PLS.

I love chocolate,
It is there when I'm screaming alone,
It is there when I'm crying alone,
It is there when I was sitting on my chair and dreaming ,
It is there when I was doing my work,
Staring at me sometimes like he knows everything inside me,
I look at his eye and I know he loves me too.
I love him very much because no matter how late i come home,he will bark loudly like scolding but at the same time he feel very excited,just because he miss me a lot a lot.
The most important is,he will NEVER BETRAY me. I admire and love the LOYALTY inside him.
Fall a sick since 2 day ago,diarrhea and vomiting,his weight is only 3.8kg,not much gain since august.
I feed him antibiotic like feeding patients,
I feed him chicken Breast meat follow by the vet's order.
I feed him Pro biotic after 3 hour antibiotic ,
I feed him 100 plus just like we human usually drink when we got diarrhea an vomiting.
I hope you recover soon,
bark like usual you,
active like usual you,
greedy for food like usual you,
naughty and play full like usual you.

I love you, Chocolate.

I don't know what the hell going on to my life now.
Is this a test? To determine how far I could hold the pain?
I'm going through very very hard time now,very deep pain ,but why? giving me another pain?
One of my classmate since year 1 till now,3 more week to graduate and everything,died at the spot in car accident ,on the way to Kuantan.
Another pain stabbing to my heart,Once again,my tears flow .
I read the news paper this morning,with my heart pump very hard.
Yeah,I saw the news. The car smash like don't know what,i do not know how to describe.
She died due to neck fracture. Its very cruel,happen to my friend.Life is cruel.
What can I do now? I can't change the fact isn't?
Hope she rest in peace... Nor,I'll be your part to pass nursing board exam. Promise to you,and I will never break it. Trust me.

I would like to say ''Thank you'' to my pain.
Because of YOU , my weight reduce from 55 kg to 50.42kg now just in 3 week time.
Because of YOU , I always woke up in nightmares with heart beat very fast and I can feel the pain inside me.
Because of YOU , I can't sleep well now a days.
Because of YOU , I cried when I think about it.
Because of YOU , anything that happen before it reflex in my mind again and again.
Because of YOU , I be myself,doing thing that follow my heart.
Because of YOU , I become stronger,more tough.
and
Because of YOU , I will never do anything to betray my friend or whoever,never feel bad for what I've done and NEVER EVER be like YOU.
I'm living my life. And I'm doing the best that I can, and doing it in a way that I feel is right.
So I won't live in REGRET anymore.

Insomnia

Recently,I have this major problem that will affect my skin and the most important my mental and physically health.
What can I do to stop thinking about nonsense?
What can I do to get rid of this?
Can I be a little more selfish?
Prioritize myself than other?* Advice from one of my good friends.. =D
So I won't get hurt easily?
I'm trying my best now,I'm going trough this.*I need more time,but i don't know how long I need.
Maybe I shouldn't drink the ''milk tea'' just now. =.=
Contain even a little bit of caffeine can cause me INSOMNIA.
Can I blame on you? Caffeine?

22.Nov.09

Woke up bout 730am today,had a night mares that scare my off.

Try to recall the dream,but can't figure out what makes me sweat.

Can't remember anymore.

Do my house work... clean up ''chocolate''cage , bath him,sweep floor,mop floor,clean up my messy room...

Went out having lunch with stephen and gwynne,had at Appollo at Usj 4.. =)

Although its simple,but its multi choice that i can pick,the most important is,its really nice to talk to them.. share story and listen advise from stephen.

He told : ''Just remember ,life is cruel,life is unfair and life is rational. ''

Is this making me feel better? the answer is maybe... haha!!

Then 2nd round with kwok like and wen nie at papa rich,although I don't feel like going the place,but I'm fine with that... =/ Later sue yee and shao min join us.. hehe.. So happiee!!! quite some time never see them already.. Miss them a lot.. Miss drinking la...I wish i could be drunk! can't wait for sara's birthday too~ =D

Then came home bout 7pm.Went to dinner with parents at Pizza Hut near my house...

Hrm..tasted the Crunchy Cheesy Bites, result ...so so only la... *though what so nice. haha!!

Then come home and online lo!! Since i abandon my blog so long..hehe

Sorry if I got a lot of grammar mistake,cause I'm really not good in English.. hehe...

Be back again! =D

Wake up

Even you cry, you scream and you goes crazy.
Things won't change just for your tears.
No one will pity you.*Although u never ask for mercy
At least,you tell yourself,you did the best.
At least,you tried very hard.
Success or not,at least you know...
you have No regret,Never ever.
Every foot step you take,you are responsible to your self.
You choose your own way,you make the decision,you accept it.
So,don't look back if there is mistake or wrong,cause you will never can change what ever things already happened. We call it , ''PAST TENSE'' .
Wake up! Look around you,There is still so many thing are waiting you to complete it.
Give yourself a goal and task every time you finish .
Get yourself busy if you start to look back and sad.
Tell yourself,it is not worth it to continue like this.
Now,you are somebody just re-born . =D

Confession

Can i know what is the best way of dying?
Your life is control by your own,isn't?
I'm living like a Zombie and like a walking flesh without my heart and soul.
What life mean to me? Why I'm still here?
What is there a meaning to survive if I don't find a reason to survive?
I ask one of my friend,''will you come to my funeral if I'm not around?''
He answer : ''see whether I have time on that day.''*That was a unexpected answer.
Some how,I do laugh abit.For the so long crying deep inside my heart...
I'm not an attention seeker,I'm thinking of these doesn't mean I want people to care or how much people who care about me.Because I don't bother,and I don't care.
I'm tired to think.
Now I understand, How fragile human is.
And,I'm one of them.

Special for you : Liar!!

Take A Bow lyrics

Oh, how about a round of applause?
Yeah, standing ovation? Ooh, oh yeah
Yeah y-yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You?re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

Don?t tell me you?re sorry 'cause you?re not
And baby when I know you?re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it?s time to go, curtain?s finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it?s over now
(But it?s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talking? 'bout, ?Girl, I love you," "You?re the one"
This just looks like a rerun
Please, what else is on?

Don?t tell me you?re sorry 'cause you?re not
And baby when I know you?re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it?s time to go, curtain?s finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it?s over now
(But it?s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, and the reward for best liar(Goes to you)
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out

How about a round of applause?
A standing ovation?

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
Now it?s time to go, curtain?s finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it?s over now
(But it?s over now)
Go on and take a bow
But it's over now

Outing and outing...

when out Wednesday with alvina and pui yan to sunway pyramid..

Wish gwynne,sara and yap was here with us unfortunate they can't make it.. =
When for dinner at Sushi Zanmai...
Food i give 7/10 , environment 8/10 , cleanliness 9/10 ...hehe..

1st time trying sushi zanmai...Not bad.. =D

There is a beautiful and ghost behind her!! omg..with her sleeping face some more...
Then we go for movie~ Jennifer's Body !!!

She's hot,hot,hot!!! omg~ i admire her look,her body,the way she talk...hehe..

Also love ''Needy'' by Amanda seyfried~ her loyalty to her cute bf...

But at the end,her bf die adi...

You will watch it by your own if you interested on this. Don't go for movie! go for dvd. =D

~Megan Fox & Amanda Seyfried~

Hrm..that's all la i wanna crap her.. hehe...

More to update when I'm energetic! =D

Tiring cause today was my 2nd day... ='(

The EnnnnnnnnnnnD~

The Cert!!

Finally I pass my 3 year final!!
Sooner or later, I'll be a staff nurse who working dealing with life and death at hospital.
I'm a little bit nervous also I'm excited to be one of the team~
I'm accepted by one of the private hospital *3 ppl chosen for interview,and 3 of us get it.
Should I be happy? Well,actually that hospital is not my first choice.Ya,my dream for all my 3 year is to work at overseas,like example,Australia? Singapore? Uk?
I'm trying hard,hope that i would have the chances to go Singapore one day , to earn their dollar,to gain my experience better and more... =D
Still,I haven't decide where should i go 1st, stay here? or fly to Singapore?
I will make the decision by Dec...
Now,I'm just waiting for the nursing board exam and then my cert!! Hopefully,everything goes well... hehe!!

Excitment

I became excited,
my hand come out with cold sweat,
my heart was palpitation,
If the clock can turn faster,and change,i would like to do that,
for the so long time,I never feel the nervous like last time i felt.
I'm so nervous...