Fear

I went to the ward to pick up my pant.Talk to my colleague and walk down the stairs to the parking lot area. The area is dark and I walk quite fast. My car park at 1st floor and I pass by the 1st floor stairs, open the door thought of paying car park ticket and there is a big size guy who sitting on the stairs in the dark. Immediate I turn back my head and run and he is chasing me too. He is able to pull me back and bring out a knife. I shout for help and there is no one there. I told him I'll give my purse to him but I found out that I had leave it in the ward. Then he took his knife and cut of my shirt. I shout and no one can hear me. My heart palpitate as I'm having ventricular tachycardia... I shout and shout then I open my eyes. Its only 3 in the morning.
I pull my pillow near me and hold it tight.

Count down

I got addicted with the song written by Zee Avi, bitter heart.
Her voice is so clear and attractive. I love her video too.


Another night, I felt the emptiness inside me.
I've no idea why and trying to search a reason to fill up my question.
Still moving my step.
Did the right decision? I have no idea, let figure it out what happen next.
=/  Good night.

Rest day no.3

This morning woke up at the wrong side of the bed, terrible feeling in mood. After did some stretch up,heard some annoyed shouting from down stairs, I feel down down down again. Last night dream was really weird and tiring. Running away from fire caught and carrying my baby name Waynne. I have no idea where is all this come from but yeah, kinda like the idea name of Waynne. Can be consider in future if I have kid. Lucky to have one more rest day tomorrow, last week off day had postpone and replace for tomorrow. I can't wait to go back and work. Some way, I enjoy killing time at work than staying at home chilling. The latest target is to save more money in order to go another time of travelling by end of this year. Still doubt going to a foreign country and work. Maybe I'll drag till next year. I don't know. I'm confuse what I want for now moment. Maybe I should take up an English course to bust up my English and stop embarrassing myself in speaking and writing grammar mistake.What else more? Take too much of snack, and cause constipation as well become heavier and bigger size. Can't imagine If I can't fit in my jeans , I'll be definitely willing to chop off my flesh and swallow it.( If its help) Another week to become home slave . Mom went to travel, and only me left at home to do the house work and taking care of my dad's laundry. I can see the happiness from his face, during the mean time, he can travel other place to play his golf. Again , I'm home alone. I think I should use full of this time to enjoy myself. Gotta move my ass from the comfy chair. Move!!

Loves

Batwomen's Diaries.

Ooh... Early in the morning after my night, I'm still awake and feel fresh. Parents are not around for this coming few day. Another 2 night to go and I'll be set free and relax again. The only thing that comes to my mind after my work is get back home as soon as possible. For the sake, my baby boy is home alone. I miss him and I know he felt the same. Just about park my Jazzy, I heard his cry , and there he show how pathetic he is being alone. We are so alike , afraid of being alone. On my way home from hospital, I turn on the fm as usual and I heard '' Never had a dream come true'' from S Club 7. The lyrics sometimes make people reflex to our own, and this is what happened to me. Maybe is the side effect of half way dreaming or there is only reason I can create for myself - this is how I felt.


Every body's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering 
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go


Chorus


I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you


Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been (or neither been)
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go


Chorus


You'll always be the dream that fills my head
(Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby)
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
Because love is a strange and funny thing


No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No no no no


Chorus


A part of me will always be with you...


So cheesy~ I love this song .
Remember the time that I've participate in the choir ,and sing at the stage there.
So damn long time ago, time flies but I can't remember many things anymore.


Sometimes, looking at the different point of view can really change how you look at the situation that happen.
And I realise , I've learn something new . The thoughts it count. =)
Thanks.

Happy Birthday Alvina Ho Siang Hung

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY ALVINA HO
YOU ARE ''OLD'' NOW!!

At Pork Dickson's pasar malam...

Celebrate Gwynne's 21st Birthday

2010 at Agricultural Park.

This is the most ugliest photo that we took in year 2005 at school celebrating merdeka day,but its okay right now as I see how far we been through our friendship in 9 years... Cheers!

Happy Birthday my dear friend,and here I wish you all the best for your future and you know how much I do appreciate you and things that you've sacrifice for me,the most important when I really down you are there for me... I can feel the loves from you..haha!!*Blush Life is just like a roller coaster that it goes up and down and you have no idea what is going to happen in the next minute, just remember no matter how shit its going to happen in future , you will face the challenge and walk through the darkness. I will always be there for you when you need me, I'm sure you know its too.. Loves. =D

Here again,I wish you to found someone who care and love you. You deserve it!

My Diet Bullshit Plan diaries

I better be control my diet , stay away from the snacks that I brought back from holiday.

owh,can I choose to tell this after I finish them all?

Or I'll  choose to be a damn fat ugly ME! Oh my.... Can't imagine it.

I don't want to go back to the past which I have the weight that doesn't look good in my clothes.

I wish I can fit into size S and put on sleeveless top. haha!! Another 3 kg to lose!

I've been not wearing sleeveless for my pass 20 year, so its time to change a new me for how I dress up like.

Aging, another scary nightmare that no one can avoid it.

What can I do about it? Apply anti-aging cream? Does it help or not? Do I believe in those chemical substances? The answer is NO!! I don't even like to apply anything on my face, what a shame... haha!

As a girl , doesn't care for the skin like a girl . Like people say , ''There is no ugly girl , only lazy girl. '' .

That is so right , and I am one one the lazy one = ugly one.

Alvina told my birthday is not far from her after her birthday , though is another 4 more months .... I must get personal studio photo done and more and more thing to settle before my birthday . So, I can tell myself. A tough year I have gone trough, a new challenge coming. Don't ever look back anymore! I am getting closer to my goal and I'll set a higher goal for myself to achieve it!  Yeesss!! That's the way man! =D
Alright, its enough to Ss ... Looking forward to see Gwynne and Alvina tomorrow morning...

Drooling seeing Ice-mocha...I miss you!!!