A Thousand Years waiting for you

Only if we meant to be , only if you see me only.

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

We talk about the future like we had a clue, never plan one day I'll leave you and you be losing me.
I keep our promises but you against the world.
I should told you what you meant to me , if its only money can buy time machine .
History will be changed like I always dream.
So my pillow will never be wet and I'd have my smile on my face.

''Too many people spend money they haven't earned,

  to buy things they don't want,

  to impress people they don't like.''

- Will Smith

The sky drop a love letter

It will never be a small little things, but the thoughts it count.

Its been wonderful flying with great and wonderful people and meeting people who being so sweet to show their concern and care for others. I am touched and I felt grateful for everything I'm having now. Thank you so much!
I love people who is being selfless and sincere and true to themselves. Life aways give us unexpected surprise. This time, I got a good one. =)) *Smile from the bottom of the heart.

This Time

When sentences speak out from your mouth through the phone is full of lies and needles, asking me to come back , ask for a movie to fulfill your wish.
How much patience I can gave you. How much have to suck it up and hold my tears for these.
I am sick and tired for the game you play, you're always stepping on my head and taking my kindness for granted. Its only you , only you who did these to me.
I ain't gonna put myself in your shoes. I've given in too much to you , selfish brad .
I found a hard way, and this time please do not stop me with the words you say .
I'm mad, totally.Because I care, you are someone to me.
Just wait, you'll see.

What goes around ,comes back around.

There was a time

I thought, that you did everything right

No lies, no wrong

I know you want me back

It's time to face the facts

That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life

Thank God I found the good in goodbye

I used to want you so bad

I'm so through it that

Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had

And I will always be the, best thing you never had.

Nerves out

Nerves out, I've not prepare for anything yet.
I am exhausted, my eyes falls but my things not done yet.
I am hungry, but I am so lazy to cook.
Pray hard everything is gonna be alright.
="(

Zouk in S'pore

Jen , Joy and Alice

Their smile are so pretty!! =)

Sometimes I'm vain. 

Thanks to joy breaking my virginity to Zouk. First time went to club , change my perception. Surprisingly I dance, because no body gonna care how you dance like. As long you shake your body and all limbs. haha!! But I do not like the hangover next morning.. ='( I do and I do enjoy how relax I can be!! hehe.

Break Down

Can't hold any longer, its breaking heart. Why am I doing all these days?

Does this make me happy? Worthy after all?

I am so pissed off with one of the wannabe. Typically egoism, rigid brain with full of insincerity feedback.

You are only doing for the sake of doing it. 

Looking myself into the mirror, am so terrific to be changed, change to be someone that not who I am.

Its like gasping of air, looking for lights from dark,letting go the birds.

I want to put on naked face, touching people's heart ,putting on smile into their faces.

Do everything that I can other than being a selfish human being.

After all , I know the choice is in my hand, I will hold on till my dream comes true.

First of all ,she dare to step into a foreign country without a dollar. Carrying herself with two little bag and start her adventures. Now, she's rape by chick flick cherry feeling uneasy,staring at her both hand nails painted by me. I am frustrated , worried yet I felt so grateful to have her words to visit me here. Gwynne my good friends. We've known for 10 years and still counting, though the circle its not complete yet I am sure Alvin and the gambler would like to be here too. There is many more chances to come. For Alvina, all the best in your studies and please do take care of your health. Another one, congratulation for new life and career, I am sure you'll make good income and full fill your desire to reach your goal.

We started our journey together on Saturday which I am only available on weekends, heading to harbour front . I look exhausted due to tight schedule in training and there so I have no choice to cover my flaws under the shade. Pardon me . Somehow , I still want to grab this opportunity to praise you for being so sweet looking and pretty. Please increase your self esteem as I am really proud to tell people you look good!! =D To me , its only a person look beautiful with beautiful inner in them. Trust me, I meant you!

I just can't resist to take a sit and have a cup of vanilla espresso with a piece of raspberry cheese cake! Coffee is now my daily drink that keep me awake! I just wish I could have more time to rest . Tsk, tsk.

Little merlion with little Gwynne, you look so young in these picture! =D

Its a sunny day, but you've no idea I am actually impressed with your patience and relax mood walking slow all the time. haha!! Forgive me again for all the nagging .Poor you and now I felt bad.

Beautiful scene with the lighting and all. The most funniest thing was, we both eat dumbling facing such a beautiful romantic aura. We just tak match la har... hahhaha!!! Best memories~ Keep in you so we can both laugh about it again when we grow older.

Lastly we are manage to catch up with long high school mate and invite her to my place for brunch. Its nice catching up! Shufen is currently doing well here. I hope we have more chance to catch up again. =)

Gwynne, I've not been having such exhausting weekends, thank you for making effort to be here, I am really appreciate with your promises and lastly I appreciate our friendship! You are always there whenever I need a pair of ears to listen . Love you!! =D

Human are complex

Today I heard a senior telling Human are complex , it is only complicated if you spend your whole life trying to understand about human , or neither anyone of us understand others or even our self. I am truly strike with that sentence he mentioned.
I am truly confuse in the complicated relationship I had now, whether will these hurt me not I really do hoping it will come to the final answer one day. How can a human be such selfish , yet should we just stand out of these and not get involve just to escape or prevent from getting hurts. I don't put high hope anymore.
Life is really unpredictable , we are only able to do what we able to do the best for now. Felling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. I should be more grateful for what I had now. But never give up to improve myself. =)
Can't stand how clumsy I am these few days with big bruises over the body , it was weird don't know else where it appear so sudden and I will only realize when I felt the pain. haha!! Due to insufficient rest and nutrition intake I fall sick more frequent than usual. Even I took 2 tablet of Redoxon everyday. It might also due to the reason I'm on the period to diet. How I wish I have high Leptin in my hormone so I won't have the craving to eat. Food is just so irresistible .
Been really busy now a days to prepare upcoming exam, hopefully can update my blog more frequent after the exam. More picture to upload!
I hope everyone have a great day ahead. Take cares!

Weekends

Want to know what I did the most ridiculous things in my life? It happened on the weekends.
I felt the guilt, sadness and pressure from all these. Due to some reason , I have no choice but have to do the most wild things and bought some stuff , so call investment into make up items also many others things.
Just before today I went to check my bank account , I have used the credit card to the limit and walking out from the Guardian embarrassingly with bare hands.WTH some more I ask the cashier to try again.  Then I went to check my bank account thought of withdrawing the last note I left and I found out that my salary had banked in. Hooray to the incident and I happily withdraw the money and walk back to guardian . =)

 Bought a pair of heels from the little tings she needs.

I love it! Just realise most of my shoes have flowers or pattern in front of the shoe tip. =p

 Went for manicure and pedicure ,also purchased colour like vampire red. WTH.

The most expensive make up products from Lancome cost my 700$ ,broke to the maximum.

My cousin told it is worth for investment as it is needed for my carrier. =.= I hope so.

WTH with my bill statement and I am going to suffer for several months.

 My foot toe nails painted

WTH first time in my life.

Painted with Chick FLICK Cherry at first, found out is not according to the guideline,then repainted on today.WTH . Wasted 12 dollar and signed up for the package. Hehe.

My hands nails repainted sexy Melaga Wine ,WTH like a ghost.

Also first time in my life. WTH.

Thanks to my beloved cousin who is so patient while waiting for my haircut and mani and pedicure.

WTH.

Brought some food from Takashimaya also Mark and Spencer. =)

The little cute Percy pig for someone who like to say '' oik , moo and meh '' .

Suite to the maximum! Can't help myself not to buy.

Sunday shopping item...

My breakfast,lunch and dinner. =D

Although it does not look pleasant but taste good!

My creation of dry wanton! =D


Wish all of you have a great weekdays onwards!
Good night, I got to do my home work and prepare for tomorrow training .. =(
Nitezz!!

Time Changed

As I mentioned, time can really change a person. I am glad that people move on. Then I can really relieve from the struggles that I've avoid. Shame to tell , there is no other way to be mean for others benefits and goods. I'm happy for the person. Sincerely.
My new journey begin to start soon . I'm excited yet not so excited with the new change but I hope I can adapt it as soon as possible and I know that it is always not easy to start on new different carrier. I am happy that I've learnt a lot of experience in previous environment . People here can really change my perception of view on many things.
This weekend I had a very fulfilling day, got the opportunity to Universal Studio also eat expensive Gutter's popcorn. Where hard work paid for everything, I travel 2 hour plus with been and back with 8 bowls of Thai shark fin soup. Insane I can tell. With the sting vinegar smell with me in the public transport. Also had freaking shopaholic experience where I need to do last minute buying office wear for my coming training. Never in my life thought I would has the chance to be like a OL. Lol when I see myself in the mirror. It reflects how mature I look when I'm in formal attire. Still, I am lack of a pair of ''devil in Prada'' not in red but in black. I need to act like a pathetic little girl when I call my mom and inform her to get prepare not to get heart attack when she see the monthly bill statement. Haha!! I had my down weekend last week too but I am glad that I have good friend who lend me a pairs of ear and listen to me sobbing about my problems . I miss my family and good friends in Usj. I can't wait for the weekend that I'll be seeing them again. For Gwynne, good luck in your exam and I am sure you can score distinction for the efforts you paid. Love you girls!
muaks! XOXO.

Cough out lungs for a week, taken more than 5 tube for lozenges doesn't seem work on me. Regret eating too much of durian but but not taking enough of water. Dehydrate to the max. Been quite busy with the work lately, people are getting more demand and higher expectation. Even when sometimes, your colleague like doctors are giving you lots of pressure. Sometimes I would just want to shout out and tell I have only one pair of hands alright. I don't blame the sick one. Frustrated with the work load where can lead me high potential of dehydration, gastritis,kidney stones,high blood pressure or even stroke. The benefits I would gain from these is losing weight and gain some knowledge and experiences. =) Well said. I know there is going to be another different side of world when I step into different field. I shall wait and see the surprise god's plan for me. I start reading books now like ''The sky is crazy'' ,really enjoy the humor that brought from the author.Well , really got to off for a rest now. I need facial la!!!

Rewind

I didn't want to admit, it was easier to lie , cover my face with a mask and hide the hurts and the emptiness ,pretend to smile instead of cry.

I never wanted a numb heart cause even if it feels so much pain ,I'm still hoping that one day I can feel a little bit of love from you.

I don't have to be happy in order to hurt someone else in order to build a wall for my own to defence and attack people I love , life just once and I live it on my way which I feels it is right to do so.

I cry for the memories you've left behind,
I swear to you on everything I am,
and I dedicate to you all that I have,
and I promise you that I will stand right by your side
Forever and always until the day I stand up right there.

If you are wounded , I am just right here to apply dressing for you ,
It takes time , but I believe it will form scar one day
and scars remind yourself things you've gone through
and you'll learn from the past.

I make myself busier than ever , trying to help around and hoping the time flies without realize.
I don't want to be alone , cause it will be the time I think of you.
I blame myself for not good enough , to be a perfect one.

I'm terrify.

-March-

Day by day , it is getting worse.
I do not know how to write and even worst that I do not know how to express my feelings and put it into sentences. There everyday I hope to the shift come to the end and everyday I hope for the weekdays come to the end and the weekend don't end so fast. I do not know what I am doing now . I do not know at the end of the day is these all I'm asking for and desire for.
I pray hard every new day I learn something new , I feel excited to go for work and enjoy my new life staying here. But then, sad to say I don't feel so. Worst still I do not even dare to tell my loved ones . How can I and where can I find the guts to say I am not okay. I felt like I am living in the hell where else I can't escape and don't know where to go.Can anyone of you safe me? guts
Its only the beginning , and it is only 1/4 of the year. Way long to go some more...
It is so much easier to tell : '' If it is so unhappy, then just come back.''

Happy Chinese New Year!!

I wish all my fellow friends and family a very Happy Chinese New Year.
I am so excited to be home after a long draggy week that I've to spent my weekend in a foreign country.
Whether I like it or not, I will choose to move forward and suck the experience troughout the year.
Where place I desperate to fly off where place I miss the most.
The past memories I had and belongs to , its hard to forget and not suppose to bring forward. I will try not.
Am I regret for all these I shall say I shouldn't even think of it. I am not regret with the decision I've made.
Past will never be something we can do about it , somehow I understand these clearly , I'm terrific and I hate it. This is not something I want but I'll swallow it. After all , hope everything will be fine. I will not stop myself from keep moving forward.
Can't wait to drink tomorrow! I drag going back but I know because everything is only the beginning. Still , long way to go and experience. Scared yet excited .

我的快樂 會回來的

愛了壞了走了 錯了哭了痛了


累了倦了哭了 煩的亂的冷的 都是真的

瘋的想的念的 不安的焦慮的

浮躁的夢過的 擁有的失去的 怎麼忘呢

你坐過的沙發睏了 你愛的音樂停了 我等著你等成了 擺設



我的你的他的 好的壞的難的

灰的藍的黃的 酸的甜的苦的 都還記得

非常想要忘的 絕對不能忘的

我想要還你了 真的不想要了 只得 封了

環島的火車載著我第幾天了 忽然發現這一刻我不想你了



我的快樂 會回來的

只要清楚曾愛得那麼深刻 不追問值不值得

我的快樂 會回來的

離開不是誰給了誰的選擇



我的快樂 會回來的

只要清楚曾愛的那麼深刻 不追問值不值得

我的快樂 會回來的

離開不是誰給了誰的選擇



我的快樂 會回來的

只要清楚曾愛的那麼深刻 不追問值不值得

我的快樂 會回來的

離開不是你給了我的選擇





瘋的想的念的 不安的焦慮的

浮躁的夢過的 擁有的失去的 怎麼忘呢

非常想要忘的 絕對不能忘的

我想要還你的 真的不想要了 只得封了

封了... 忘了...

Be strong

Give me time, I'll update soon... soon when everything settle down. ='(
I miss so many people, so many...
God please give me courage to complete my tasks. Amen.