Both hands trembles as I remembered the cold love memories
Now it is getting weirder, I dont wish to reject you, but I just know that
No matter how close we are, I know that I cant love you anymore
I cant miss you; waiting for you makes me tired
I cant endure anymore and I cant realize this

The name I loved once in this life


You can tell or nag me how million times I've told myself and ain't me getting sick of myself and I can tell yes I am. I find million reason to love you and I know I will. 
I just hope you can do anything that it makes you happier.
I hope you won't repeat the same mistakes. 
Hope for a better tomorrow. =)

Try me , You will know I am the psycho one. =)

How smart a person can be , will never be smart when comes to love. Don't be naive , don't be blinded.
I am once blinded and I will never allow myself to fall into these again . Though how many thousand times I've been saying and telling, I will still telling the same old thing. Bored . I know. I hate NOW , where I can choose not to push and trying too hard , still I will try my best in everything I can to make everyone who I love to be happy , I left very little time. The most important thing , I want everybody to be happy, as long you happy I'm happy. Enough. I've tried all I can, and I can't see why choose being pathetic over the same old thing . But I can't help it. Just because I'm stubborn? I don't know.
I count down everyday , this prove how time important to me that I can't waste even a second as I want to spend my time to whom I cherish Friends like family, family and to who I care. Cry isn't help at all. I've been crying all the time,is there someone to offer a tissue paper and get ready their pair of ears to listen me. I admit I'm such a failure when come to handle stress. WTH I can't take the pressure and I've been worry too much all the time. Spare me if there is something bad which spoil my day. I am no shame to show my ugly face with swollen eyes and dark circles due to my lack of rest and insomnia . Everyday a cup or two is no longer really effective on me, it can only last for 4 ~5 hour . Is there anyone know where to get Morphine? I advise people not to rely on caffeine but I always did.WTH . Everything it happen for the reason behind. =S I'm sorry to say I have no time for all these,no idea for how long it takes to stop it , having insomnia really affects my physical and mentally.  Spare me, really. I believe as long I did the right thing ,right way, right thoughts and right time. One day, everything will be fine, where god is looking after me. I believe I'll be fine and I'll get what I deserve at last. I don't ask for more, I want to live as a good person , a human. I will do my best in everything I can without rely on anyone out there ,but still I really appreciate for those friends who loves me and I love you guys too because I see people through heart but not eyes. Cheers~

For the time being I should carry on and looking forward for my another turning point of my life which where I'll leave the past behind at my home country and prioritize the importance till the day I come back and settle down with my satisfactory appetite and things I want . Without fail I am definitely waiting for the promises in 5 years time. I doubt but I choose to believe in you giving our self more time to fight for our dreams and goals. =) Like I always told , you can't predict what is going to happen in a sec time and things in life can be change dramatically without you notice it  .For now,I'm still facing dilemma,confusion and I don't know when I'll stop it but all I want is to see in my life is learn to see different point of view , learn from others , learn from experience , learn from the environment around me , learn to be a better self. I will never stop improving myself . I promise that I will be someone who dare to dream and achieve my WTH dreams though I am still not sure about my future planning. I know I've been pushing myself too hard till I've not been sleeping well but I'll not regret.At least one day if I die , till the last minute of my life , I want to contribute everything that I can afford and my very best in everything to anyone who involved in my life, that I precious so much , and dear to me. I pray god to guide me and lead me to a better person that I will and can be bring hope and happiness to people around me by my pair of hands. =)

Thanks god and thanks for the pray to my thumb, after 50 days of dressing and protection.My thumb healed!  Even a specialist told I will not have back my thumb like usual still I am so glad that finally I can showered without covering it with dressing and avoid from the dressing get wet also prevent from getting infection.

Here as I promise, I will post up the look of my thumb before and after! =D 

Whoever is reading the post now, can leave this page before vomit out their lunch or faint * I exaggerate . Lol. 

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.Ready?!

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Yeah , and there goes 14 days and 50 days process!! 

Thank you for everyone who do dressing , pray for me and lighten my burden due to my time of suffered.  

Though it looks like not much different from normal , I don't want to be so particular by telling : ''no la~ still cacat''. At least , it looks better that nothing and I realize how important my thumb play a role in my life! Lol. 

WTH!! I feel so grateful after all.. =)

Back to December =')

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life, tell me how's your family

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier then ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,

Realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

All the time

*Its really speak of me? You think so?  M.E

Nerves on me

Today is going to be my last working night in this hospital. No doubt, I did what I can in the limited of time. Hoping I have the strength to carry out my work with no error. I slept only 3 hour and I try to sleep but I can't. Having insomnia for my last night ,damn, WTH. Been thinking about so many thing,can't be solve, place aside ....Non stop repeating... *to be continue

11 Dec 2010

Went out with Pui yan and Gwynne for breakfast , had curry mee from penang introduce by Pui yan. Then heading to Summit and walk for awhile. Brought our favourite tibits and lepak.. Alvina couldn't make it this time,but I'm sure we will definately find another day to hang out together. Love you guys. =)

Gywnne Kong , Alvina Ho and Bobby Lee . I start missing you all... 

I counted, Almost 10 years of friendship , though everyone of us is on the different direction , different goal and dreams . Things we've been through will never be forgotten . Our friendship still strong . We support each other when who ever is not around. There many things happened , no matter how bad it is we are still who we are and we will still good friends . At least , I believe . Nothing can really change us , especially me myself. I just want to be myself , be who I want to be . Alvina, I always believe you will find someone who loves you more.You deserve so much , and you had taught me to be brave and love myself more. You had taught me how to improve myself. Gwynne, you are pretty and please be more confident in yourself and ,you have so many positive in you that I really admire .I can feel how much sacrifice in you to your family,especially your dear sister. I really envy that. You are going to be a great wife! Yan , you know that we use to hang on the phone more than 4 hours a day , hang out together so countless time.You have confidence in yourself and I know you can achieve something when you want it to be achieved. You have a goal , and so I believe you'll back with great achievement in future. =) 

Girls, you have no idea how much love I want to express it out but erm..spare me that la huh.. I don't want to tear later as you girls know I'm a cry baby . Lol. Really, I started to miss you all already. Especially you girls. ='(

Count Down , I left very little time . God , please give me the power to complete my tasks. Amen.