The day started with a morning buzz from the phone and I realised someone had left for an interview. So, I left a message and went to the toilet and stoned for awhile till my soul came back to me. I changed and picked up the car keys and went to the nearby hypermarket as planned. Surprise surprise, only one of the coffee shops was opened and there were a few people in uniforms who walked slowly towards the escalator. With my morning mood, I walked like a snail towards the main entrance as the shutter was slowly rising. Yes, I was the first customer of the day. The staff was polite and greeted me. I paid for the groceries and got home by 10.15 a.m., the whole trip took me about 45 minutes.
Then I spent some time chatting with her and finally did some housework since coming back from a holiday. Time passed really fast as I wished and I noticed that I have not been blogging since the 26th of September. I questioned myself, "What did I do after the last post?" I have been to and back from a short holiday, continued on with my crazy working life with tonnes of workload, I've been going through a period of emotional ups and downs and was challenged both physically and mentally.
With regard to my family, my dear brother has recently got back from the UK where he studied and his Europe trip. He has been busy with his plans and life challenges too. Recently, his friend passed away due to leukemia and he has been quite upset about it. Somehow, I'm glad that he has such a gentle and polite girlfriend who is support of him. Also, my baby has grown healthy and smarter, and still very much loyal towards me even though I have been busy with my own activities. Dad has been flying in and out of the country due to his job and my mom had confessed to me that I'm such an ass and a terrible daughter who does not open up to my family. Yeah, I will not give her the reason that its due to my childhood life. What is the past is the past. Nonetheless, she knew that I went through a phase of mental depression and advised me to consult a psychologist if I think I am unable to handle my emotions. I do know that my family cares about me and therefore I expect nothing of them eversince I started my career and working towards my own goals. The only thing I hope from both my parents is that they do not worry about me. So, enough about family, back to myself.
At 12 noon, I had cleaned my room, tidied my books, washed the air-conditioner filter, took out the trash and swept the floor. I received a call from a non-familiar number. So I answered the call with a question mark in my head. Finally, it is the call that I have been waiting for so long. My license has finally been approved by the Singapore Nursing Board and they want me to start work in November. I was like WTH, I was stunned and my mind went blank. After the brief call ended, I continued to arrange things in my room and went for a shower. I was surprised at my response which was chilled and calm.
I am so tired to even think of anything due to the lack of sleep and carbohydrate. I have not been eating well these days. There is so much uncertainty and dilemmas in my mind, such as the future planning and the feeling of sadness of leaving my dear family, friends and home country. Till then, I will update after some of my queries are answered.
Hey!! Sometimes its quite difficult to share problems with your parents. But don't worry about that. Everyone has their own secrets. I'm sure mum always wanna know more about their children.
ReplyDeleteHowever, don't keep too much of things to yourself. I have read an article saying that depression will come and go, and the chances of it coming back are higher for those who has gone through it before. I'm sure you know better than me. So you can always talk to me. =D
YOU ARE LEAVING NEXT MONTH???? NOOOOOOOOOO.. I'll miss u like crazy. I know la.. I seldom meet up with u but I know u are near. Now it's singapore. Sangat jauh!!!! Anyway, I'm still glad that u are accepted. Since this is your dream, don't give up!! Don't let anything hold u back! So I'll see u either tomorrow of the day after tomorrow. Byeeee!! Take care!! HuGGssss..