Saturday, January 30, 2010
Recently
Finally , I'm officially Staff registered nurse. Yeah,I passed my nursing board exam. Taken my slip and visited my lecturers and clinical instructor also my juniors, Its so happy to see them ,and I'm happy to share my thoughts. Currently doing nursing at Sunway Medical Centre. Everyday is just so busy , but I enjoyed the people , staff and work there. =) Having break for like once in a week .Work like hell but yet enjoy a lot, really a lot. Currently fully occupied my time , spending my day with satisfactory. What else can I ask for? Yeah, I'm happy enough with what I'm doing now,moving forward. =D
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Menopause
The symptom of menopause : hot flushes , emotional disturbances.
There is a women who I really care and tolerating with her attitude for like 22 year and still counting, really lead me to the max this morning. I doesn't want to talk back like that to her , but I'm really pissed off. Shouting in the early morning for the reason of my baby pee at some places. Putting him in the ''jail'' and still shouting at him. Then,suddenly find something which relate to me and yelled like no one at home. Please. It is just a small matter, you don't need to shout at me when I'm reading newspaper,yeah. I tried to chill myself , but still she's continued therefore I tell her,she don't need to shout at me for the matter like this. I told ,continuing like these, I really have no idea how I can stay at the same roof with her. The communication is playing an important roles in the family,but why. Again and again. I don't like to raise my voice but these time, I'm not giving way. I told her, you acting to be this way,I can only tell you , you are having menopause. I know, this is too much drama , but it happened real life like this morning. I should chill now, and put it a side, what ever I want to tell , I told already . That's all. Close book. =)
There is a women who I really care and tolerating with her attitude for like 22 year and still counting, really lead me to the max this morning. I doesn't want to talk back like that to her , but I'm really pissed off. Shouting in the early morning for the reason of my baby pee at some places. Putting him in the ''jail'' and still shouting at him. Then,suddenly find something which relate to me and yelled like no one at home. Please. It is just a small matter, you don't need to shout at me when I'm reading newspaper,yeah. I tried to chill myself , but still she's continued therefore I tell her,she don't need to shout at me for the matter like this. I told ,continuing like these, I really have no idea how I can stay at the same roof with her. The communication is playing an important roles in the family,but why. Again and again. I don't like to raise my voice but these time, I'm not giving way. I told her, you acting to be this way,I can only tell you , you are having menopause. I know, this is too much drama , but it happened real life like this morning. I should chill now, and put it a side, what ever I want to tell , I told already . That's all. Close book. =)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tragedy
I don't understand, why certain people can actually kill the others just for own satisfactory.
It is sad ,and pathetic , I should say.
People is losing sense of humanity when there is no where they can help them self. No where can escape.
They have to go and save themselves.So,how about the old one? the young one? who left nobody to bother and taking care of.
Sigh.Poor Haiti's...
Violence added to complications in places.
Meanwhile, rescuers continued finding survivors.How many of them still survive?
I feel so restless,If I can afford to give a hand. I want to be there . Really.
The world need to send more people to help up,as soon as possible. To prevent further increase of mortality. Please.
Haiti's , please do not give up on hope. When you were still alive ,you still have hope.
I can't do anything here,only continue updating myself with the news. Wishing and praying for the better tomorrow for them.Please,If YOU could hear me. Do something .
It is sad ,and pathetic , I should say.
People is losing sense of humanity when there is no where they can help them self. No where can escape.
They have to go and save themselves.So,how about the old one? the young one? who left nobody to bother and taking care of.
Sigh.Poor Haiti's...
Violence added to complications in places.
Meanwhile, rescuers continued finding survivors.How many of them still survive?
I feel so restless,If I can afford to give a hand. I want to be there . Really.
The world need to send more people to help up,as soon as possible. To prevent further increase of mortality. Please.
Haiti's , please do not give up on hope. When you were still alive ,you still have hope.
I can't do anything here,only continue updating myself with the news. Wishing and praying for the better tomorrow for them.Please,If YOU could hear me. Do something .
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
This will be the last for me
Its been some time, I'm writing emo sentences on my blog.
Making people's who cares worried.
Its been a while, 2 month plus being this way?
I'm not sure, but I guess I will never want people to worry and guessing about me.
Doesn't like people to misinterpret me.
Don't , it is going to make thing worst. ='(
I'm sorry,truly sorry. I have no idea what to say other than this.
Writing a blog is actually not my intention to publish for people to read.
It is just thought of writing and expressing some feeling on my own blog,just like a diary.
To clarified , what I posted up is only some wording I love and copy from book. haha.
It is a combination of how I actually thought about life and part of my feeling.
Hrm,Its complicated.
I have to tell myself, stop putting my thought in one side
Yeah,appreciate those people who be there and care about me when I'm not OK.
Prioritise myself but also do the best for people who need me.
That's all lah!
As one of my friend told:
''if u choose to be sad it cant be used to be happy,so if u spend one hour of being sad,u lose 60 Min's of happiness,i think u should put your foot down and tell yourself that you can't afford to lose anymore hours of being unhappy''
I like the thought, I should live in this thought. Hehe.
Thank you! =D
Making people's who cares worried.
Its been a while, 2 month plus being this way?
I'm not sure, but I guess I will never want people to worry and guessing about me.
Doesn't like people to misinterpret me.
Don't , it is going to make thing worst. ='(
I'm sorry,truly sorry. I have no idea what to say other than this.
Writing a blog is actually not my intention to publish for people to read.
It is just thought of writing and expressing some feeling on my own blog,just like a diary.
To clarified , what I posted up is only some wording I love and copy from book. haha.
It is a combination of how I actually thought about life and part of my feeling.
Hrm,Its complicated.
I have to tell myself, stop putting my thought in one side
Yeah,appreciate those people who be there and care about me when I'm not OK.
Prioritise myself but also do the best for people who need me.
That's all lah!
As one of my friend told:
''if u choose to be sad it cant be used to be happy,so if u spend one hour of being sad,u lose 60 Min's of happiness,i think u should put your foot down and tell yourself that you can't afford to lose anymore hours of being unhappy''
I like the thought, I should live in this thought. Hehe.
Thank you! =D
Monday, January 11, 2010
I know being this way is not a healthy way to be.
You hope for my smile and I just have to put a smile on my face to show I'm alright.
''You are doing great''.
It seems so easy to tell out that . ''Yeah.'
You will never see how its going through me , deep inside me , you will never understand.
Still,can't sleep well through the night.
And tears because the feeling of loneliness.
Seeing my weight is dropping still. When can this be the end?
*Silent tears
You hope for my smile and I just have to put a smile on my face to show I'm alright.
''You are doing great''.
It seems so easy to tell out that . ''Yeah.'
You will never see how its going through me , deep inside me , you will never understand.
Still,can't sleep well through the night.
And tears because the feeling of loneliness.
Seeing my weight is dropping still. When can this be the end?
*Silent tears
Sunday, January 10, 2010
=S
This few day,was busy with the orientation and things that is not done.
Every tea time,I need to force myself to drink at least 2 cup of black coffee to keep me awake.
Terribly tiring with many things and things that is important.
Oh yeah. I'm going to start my work already.
So there going to work like hell. =.=
Yesterday was everything fine before picking up my mom.
Everything turn badly after 2 minute she enter the car.
Complaining, scolding , yelling and so.
There,I'm not going to explain much,because its pointless...
Still,stick with my words . At least, I don't raise my voice and I didn't yell at her or treating her like how she treat me.
Thought, you are my mother who gave birth for me , who raise me up, educate and guiding me. Not only that simple, you've done a lot.
But,this time,you really hurt me on.
Maybe you got some point correct,but I like to tell you , No one is perfect and You are not always RIGHT too.
Being so fed up with the very obvious and different treat. I feel so tired.
And so, I don't feel like seeing you.
And so,not only you treating me like this, others does.
Family dinner huh? Where those people go?
And so, I choose to stay in my room and rest. Not going for dinner at 830pm.
Promise a friend of mine,will meet up for drink but I'm afraid for some other reason.
Therefore, I wait for the call and message.
Therefore, nothing turn differently , I didn't go out and I sleep super early.
Sigh...
Every tea time,I need to force myself to drink at least 2 cup of black coffee to keep me awake.
Terribly tiring with many things and things that is important.
Oh yeah. I'm going to start my work already.
So there going to work like hell. =.=
Yesterday was everything fine before picking up my mom.
Everything turn badly after 2 minute she enter the car.
Complaining, scolding , yelling and so.
There,I'm not going to explain much,because its pointless...
Still,stick with my words . At least, I don't raise my voice and I didn't yell at her or treating her like how she treat me.
Thought, you are my mother who gave birth for me , who raise me up, educate and guiding me. Not only that simple, you've done a lot.
But,this time,you really hurt me on.
Maybe you got some point correct,but I like to tell you , No one is perfect and You are not always RIGHT too.
Being so fed up with the very obvious and different treat. I feel so tired.
And so, I don't feel like seeing you.
And so,not only you treating me like this, others does.
Family dinner huh? Where those people go?
And so, I choose to stay in my room and rest. Not going for dinner at 830pm.
Promise a friend of mine,will meet up for drink but I'm afraid for some other reason.
Therefore, I wait for the call and message.
Therefore, nothing turn differently , I didn't go out and I sleep super early.
Sigh...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I miss my straight Hair!!
Its just after a hair and scalp treatment... The price is quite reasonable,at least I did something to help up my hair and prevent it to bald.. haha!I really do miss it a lot a lot!! Some how, I try loving my wavy hair... *miss it,miss it. I know recently I've been looking very scary due to my eye beg,pale face ,unhealthy look and lose weight,but It will come back to a normal me again... I wish I could be pretty!!! pls wait!!Monday, January 4, 2010
A new good day! Saw good sun light flashing to the land,so beautiful~~
Woke up early by a morning call 7 am from classmate asking why I'm not there yet,well...
I say,:'' just create any stories will do.''. =.=
I hate I'm being careless already,haha! What to do?
Then about to sleep back,another call by good friend asking for help,so another time of being heroin,there I am~ =)
After dropping her to the place,all the way to Alvina house for meeting up and do some planning for myself. hehe.While she is taking her bath, doesn't want to veg out only,so there I'm here blogging again and again...
Enjoy even though my English are sucks and shit.
Never mind,type for fun lo!
Hope everything going on well this year,Great start!
Opps! Anyway, I know is late but still ,
HAPPY NEW YEAR ! =D
Woke up early by a morning call 7 am from classmate asking why I'm not there yet,well...
I say,:'' just create any stories will do.''. =.=
I hate I'm being careless already,haha! What to do?
Then about to sleep back,another call by good friend asking for help,so another time of being heroin,there I am~ =)
After dropping her to the place,all the way to Alvina house for meeting up and do some planning for myself. hehe.While she is taking her bath, doesn't want to veg out only,so there I'm here blogging again and again...
Enjoy even though my English are sucks and shit.
Never mind,type for fun lo!
Hope everything going on well this year,Great start!
Opps! Anyway, I know is late but still ,
HAPPY NEW YEAR ! =D
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Last Note
I can never run away the feeling of being in pain,at this moment,yes still.
I will take my own sweet time,its just the matter of time.
I would want to be selfish just like you do,be cruel and mean just like you too.
Its easier to be bad ,than a person who is weak and sad.
But,I will never want to be like you,because this is no more like me.
I doesn't need to be cruel and mad just like you do.
Stop asking me not to cry,because this is my feeling,How its feel,is all me.
I know,its not easy to just let go because that is real what happened before,the feeling is real.
The scar is there,and I'm trying my really best to lighten it.
I cannot lie to myself,take it as in not happened before.
Yes,for the time being,you may not feel the same or even you don't even care.
This is so you. One day it will come,but I don't hope for it you will put yourself into my shoes.
Yes,Its all past,What can I do now is just to move on.
Thank you for the past,and I really sincerely mean it.
When the day you realise , maybe that time I'll be smiling to you again.
Take care .
I will take my own sweet time,its just the matter of time.
I would want to be selfish just like you do,be cruel and mean just like you too.
Its easier to be bad ,than a person who is weak and sad.
But,I will never want to be like you,because this is no more like me.
I doesn't need to be cruel and mad just like you do.
Stop asking me not to cry,because this is my feeling,How its feel,is all me.
I know,its not easy to just let go because that is real what happened before,the feeling is real.
The scar is there,and I'm trying my really best to lighten it.
I cannot lie to myself,take it as in not happened before.
Yes,for the time being,you may not feel the same or even you don't even care.
This is so you. One day it will come,but I don't hope for it you will put yourself into my shoes.
Yes,Its all past,What can I do now is just to move on.
Thank you for the past,and I really sincerely mean it.
When the day you realise , maybe that time I'll be smiling to you again.
Take care .
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Fall into another nice song again....
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you
Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone.
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you
Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone.
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