The only way to record down what I've done and the experience I got is writing a blog post.
I find myself being kind of pathetic when I have no one I wanted to tell about or even the person I wanted to tell was not interested to know what is going on.I never put to blame to the others,I'm just feel frustrated to myself. I should say, I feel sorry to myself. Knowing being this way it couldn't help me much, what I can do when I feel sad is just to hug my pillow and cry till I awake the next morning. Yeah, this is call emotional. I applied red thinking hat to myself.
As usual ,working as a nurse is like an army who need to prepare for the war anytime. The stress it came to you its no where you can escape and no where you can run to. You just got to stuck your head and jump into the situation and face it. That is what I had applied to myself everyday. No matter how bad the situation it can cause you to be distress, frustration, disappointment or even depress. My style, face it ,go through the pain and you will learn from the mistake and this is how learning makes people grow. I feel getting better after day by day of facing doctor , knowing their style ,demanding patients and their family member, dealing with others department staff who involve in the whole hospital.
No mistake can be done ,because one mistake you've done, patient risk of life. Dealing with humans life is nothing to be funny about. Knowing we are not the one who diagnose and to give treatment to the patient but we are the one who are the closes to the patient. I love my job and I'm pretty enjoy with what I do everyday but it is not enough. I'm not good enough. Lack of calm and chill , lack of patience, some times and poor memory. A day 24 hour isn't enough for me. I feel the nurses not spending much time for the patient ,I wanted to,very much BUT *its a ''but'' we have too much thing to do. Team work should really apply into a team everyday ,every shift,every minute and second. One people mistake , whole team work drag and things to follow up will be accumulate , patient treatment will be delay,time for them to heal will be delayed too. This is what happen today, I do not want to blame the person or I should blame myself maybe putting too much stress and responsible by own. Doctors came , I need to follow up with the changes, the call up other department to book case , to prepare patient ,to call people for help .Doctor's shouting at the department , staff down the department keep calling and rush us. Where else I can find people? Those lazy one couldn't even bothered,telling wanted to take a break for breakfast. So,who going to do their job?*some more the person noted but act don't know As a team leader, running here and there doing overall thing by own is really making me pieces till the head.I almost tears, almost. Luckily didn't tear out or else it is really embarrassing. So many people is passing update to me,things to follow up being accumulated. For the time being, I just feel like make a frust at the person. Why being so irresponsible left over work for others to settle for you? What a shit.
I can't make a frust to the person , 1 year senior than me. I should show respect as my senior and the only thing I can ask for . Sorry, I CAN'T RESPECT a nurse like you. It is sad to see such a people working in health care industry .What is the purpose of wearing a smart look uniform and do not perform according to your responsibility . Misused the power , neglected the patient , delay the treatment , patient life in risk. Who is going to be responsible ? You? Me? or the whole team of people who work in the hospital ?
Overall , I'm happy working in the ward. I know I can't expect people to be what I expect . I can only expect myself to do better than yesterday. Please,tell yourself you can do it better for the new day its come. Yeah... I'm done with my long story. Some times,blogging isn't too bad. Hehe.
